behind the colored scars

My current location - gently leaning on a pillow with a blanket near and my epidemiology book open. For my 20th birthday I decided to get the second half of my lower back piece done. So now with my back bleeding and my body still in small shock I write to you.

The two fairies came into existence about 2.5 years ago. My friend Sammy and I were talking about our 18th birthday which fell on the same day February 22 2007. I was getting a tattoo but at that time still wasn't sure what it was going to be of. I will have to explain to you now that Sammy and I believed that we were each others sole mate. Not in a sexual way as we never planned on dating or being romantically active with each other. But we decided that we would both get a fairy tattooed somewhere on our body to always remember the other by. My first fairy is named Keomie which means the beautiful one. It is a representation of what Sammy wanted to look like. Sammy was a transgender MTF but was still preop.

Sammy killed herself at her fathers home in northern California. I was crushed and didn't know how to deal with it for a really long time. I loved that girl with everything in me and didn't want to think about the fact that I couldn't call her up and talk about anything and everything anymore. I never had experienced losing someone and I had to deal with school and everything involved with moving on. Long story short there was another fairy that had been drawn. I didn't have the original artwork that sammy had worked out with one of her artistic friends but I had the ideas that sammy and I talked about together. So it took me months but I recreated the second fairy who then ended up in a box under my bed for a long time. This year I decided that I was going to get the second artwork done.

Today was that day and now the unnamed fairy has joined my canvas. Instead of having her on a toadstool I have her on a tree branch that has no flowers or blooms on it. I am designing more work to be added later but for now this is how the piece will stay. The first fairy is looking off into the distance, which was the idea to begin with. The idea of always looking of into the distance for my other half. But now it is even more true as the second fairy looks up to the first with a face that almost breaks my heart.

The art took just less than 2 hours, and I almost died towards the end. I wanted to give up, but I was so close. Also the wings (which are blue) almost killed me because they were on such soft skin but now that it is over I would not have wanted it any other way. My next (4th) is almost finished being designed and I may end up getting it before the summer. I am working on a 1/4 sleeve on my left arm I already have one piece of work there - my genderqueer symbol. I plan to add spirituality, theatre, Germany, Africa, and perhaps something girl scout related to the sleeve. I am not completely sure yet though. I also plan on getting keomie reshaded to make it more of one picture