Doughnut Tears

Yesterday, evening my body was finally able to release a lot of the stress and tension it has been holding inside for too long. I cried. I cried for many things, for joy and pain and change. Interestingly enough the tear were not brought on by another traumatic event, or by hurting. They instead were caused by the thought of doughnuts. Most people do not know the level of love I have for doughnuts in my life, there are many stories that can be told about doughnuts and pastries and how I've lived with them over time. Yet the delicious fatty dough has not passed my pallet in more time that I am happy to admit. This is because they are filled with things that make me very sick.

Yesterday, Micheal decided that my allergy should not be tied directly into my health food habits, therefore he is making me doughnuts and crab ragoons. The thought of doughnuts sparked the different types of fillings and glazes, consuming my mind with fried sugary goodness. I began talking about the types I like and the different combination I go for, becoming more and more emotional in the process until my eyes were full of tears and I was sobbing in Michael's arms.

Somehow Doughnuts healed me, and allowed me to experience emotions that I was hiding far under the surface. I was able to process a lot that has been going on around me and let go of the things that needed to go.

I can not wait to bite into one of these doughnuts over the weekend.

Camp Food

Tomahawk serves it's dinners family style, meaning the counselors get the food place it on the table and everyone serves themselves from communal dishes. Under I have added pictures of one days worth of meals at Tomahawk.
This was breakfast. Hard boiled eggs with toast and tomatoes. Hashbrowns, bananas, cereals, milk, bacon (veggie option also available)


Smoggy was really excited about the chicken salad at lunch! we also had broccoli cheese soup oranges. Lunch is the only meal at Tomahawk served with dessert, but we do have night time snacks that are cooked over the camp fire.


Dinner was rustic potatoes and chill. Like always there were meat and vegetarian options because the kitchen works really well with dietary restrictions and allergies.

cigarettes and sprouts

Some days all I think about living my life in a tiny little apartment. I will never close my window, though I will draw the blinds. I will grow sprouts in jars, from all types of beans and greens. I will grow greens in all of my open window space. I will buy from local farmers markets at a downtown plaza.

I will write with fury, and go to work to save lives.
I will be happy in this life.

I will have filtered water.



Today's thoughts on sprouts:
Spring is a time when all the flowers and trees begin to open up and become beautiful. All winter long I am able to grow sprouts and have little bursts of spring in my life. Each time I eat a sprout I think about spring. It is beautiful and wonderful.
You should all try it.

Negative carbon footprint

I love doing things that don't take energy and electricity or make noise. These all pollute my head and heart and world. Recently I've began buying the more expensive earth and people friendly coffee. This though is more expense and I was pensive to use it in my cheap coffee machine. I never had to worry though because my coffee maker is now dead and therefore will not be making anymore horrible coffee.

I have started a cold brew system.
Basically it is a mason jar with 2 cups of water and 1/2 cup of coffee in it
I mix it up and let it sit for 12 hours.
Then I strain the coffee out of the liquid
and I have coffee concentrate

I then mix this one to three with some liquid.
either soy milk
warm water
or cold water

It is delicious and the concentrate keeps for 2 weeks in my fridge. So I can make quick coffee anytime. And I'm saving money and energy.

and it is silent. You don't know how much I value my silence.

Cooking with Tofu

My Vegan thought of the day: I like yellow food. Curry, mustard, paprika, turmeric all create beautiful shades of yellow when mixed into light food items and I love each of the flavors that the spices bring to my cooking.

I was sitting in my kitchen hungry as usual. The plan was to bake bread, but I had decided to make a dark sourdough type so I made my starter and it will be two days until I can use it. A couple of days ago I learned how to make mustard and I have been craving it ever since, so I decided what I made today would have mustard in it.
Taking a bowl from my cupboard I took already made yellow mustard and honey (not vegan I know but I still eat it as part of my vegan diet as long as it is local, which ours is) To that I added Spanish paprika, ground turmeric, cumin, and garlic flakes. To thin out this mixture I added a bit of olive oil and coconut milk, something I should always have on hand! This created a nice flavor that I crumbled drained tofu into and combined well. At this point I decided to cut some of my mums cilantro from her herb box and add it to tofu.

As that soaked up the flavors I cooked about a cup of elbow pasta. After draining that I added rosemary, Italian seasonings, and a tablespoon of margarine. One this was mixed I combined the tofu and the pasta and placed it into a baking dish.

Since my mum keeps garden tomatoes frozen and we had thawed some yesterday I was able to put really red juicy tomatoes onto the top of my mixture. From there I baked it at 375 for 15(ish) minutes. Just enough to warm it through and to bake down the tomatoes a little.

I ate it with a small salad and some celery, and still had enough left for lunch tomorrow.

life in the bonnet

I am really seriously considering a small organic farm for myself. Today I am in what I like to call my prairie clothing. I feel like I should go milk a cow or work in the fields.

I am wearing long underwear, both pants and shirt. A bonnet. And a skirt that is off white with green and brown flowers on it. I would only be more perfectly dressed if I were in a wool skirt and farm shoes. Instead I am in my 'garden' shoes.

Lastly I have been thinking about how much land I will need to farm certain things. For example 1 acre of Sorgum produces 30 gallons. In that same vain an acre of wheat produces about 2 bushels each weighing about 55lb. Potatoes and greens wouldn't be hard to keep along with a winter garden. If I can form my own milling processes, I could compleatly live off of about 3 acres of land, and still sell a small amount of produce. Depending on the state of my veganism I may keep some goats or chickens around for the milk and eggs. I would have to grow a large quantity of beans to dry and keep so maybe I would want 4 acers of land, just for some bumper.

Deending on where this farm ends up will effect my crops - but that is all to be considered

The Sweet Vegan

the book "La Dolce Vegan: vegan livin' made easy" is my new favrorite cookbook. It lives on my desk between "The Vegan lunchbox" and a huge ethnography of African Literature. The writer of La Dolce is Sarah Kramer and she is perhaps the most interesting woman to ever write a vegan cookbook ever. With facial piercings, quickly graying curly hair, and tattooes up her arms Kramer is an activist, whole likes the ordinary, and knows that change is good and can cause inspiration. The seal of the book could be summed up with one phrase KISS - keep it simple stupid. her goal, "is to make veganism fun, accessible, and easy. But most importantly - to make it taste good."

I have an obsession with cookbooks but lately I have only bought vegan based book. This is one of the best decisions I have made. Although I am still eating small amounts of dairy in the dinning hall, when I cook at home I am eating vegan 99% of the time.

Of course I have a few exceptions including honey, but this is compensated by the fact that I buy local honey from a farmer who is working on honey bee presevation. I couldn't not buy his honey when I know him by name. I also buy local yogurt, because the cultures are good for my sensitive stomach and again it is from a local farm. I may never be 100% vegan but I do like the idea of working on it.

In the words of Kramer, "it's a new veginning, my friends. Let's see where it takes us!"
and now a recipe from Sarah

Hissing Cousins Oat Bread
2 cups rolled oat flakes
2 cups flour
1 tbsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
3 tbsp maple syrup
3 tbsp oil
2 cups "milk"

Preheat oven to 450F. Lightly oil a 9-inch loaf pan and set aside.
In a medium bowl, stir together the oats, flower, baking powder, and salt.
Add the maple syrup, oil, and "milk" and gently stir the dough until just mixes.
Pour evenly into loaf pan and bake for 25-30 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean
makes 1 loaf

I sub the syrup of honey, making it agian not vegan but delicious. I also use my homemade rice milk for the "milk" she calls for.
ENJOY

What goes with snow

When I got home to my Read 2nd room today the snow was softly falling down. I didn't have any desire to unpack my 4 days worth of clothing so I sat on my bed and watched the snow fall. It is strange to me that each flake is absolutely different from the next with an infinite number of possibilities.

When we are young and we hear the storied about elfs whose job it is to cut snowflakes all year long we are mesmerized. Now that I am older and I understand the process of crystallization that occurs way up in the stratosphere I am still in awe to think that our earth, our environment can create something as delicate as snow. The process that causes them to break and crystallize is beautiful in itself, even if it leaves out the elfs with their magic scissors and creativity.

When it is cold and the snow is falling, what else would one want in the world than hot chocolate. I recently realized that I can make homemade vegan hot chocolate in my room. It takes a bit of innovative thinking, but it works.

The process: I took one chunk of 100% coco baking square and dropped it into a glass jar. Mean while I have put water into my hot water cooker and turned it on. About a week ago I made homemade rice milk (for another post) so I poured rice milk into the jar over the still solid baking square.


Then I put this jar into the middle of my hot water cooker. It looked liked this.
After it began to heat up I stirred it some. Then I let it heat all the way through before stirring it again and taking it out of the hot water. The water around the jar was boiling but because I don't like to wait for things to cool down, I didn't bring the contents of the jar to a boil.

and bam! I had vegan hot chocolate in my dorm room in a matter of minutes with out a huge amount of clean up. Just one jar!
Time to enjoy winter