College Coffee

This is how I make Coffee. I will post the picture in the blog, but right now it won't upload so you should follow the link I made.

The upper most part of the contraption is a reusable coffee filter. My entire first year of college I owned my own coffee pot, and I used it everyday. I liked to be environmentally friendly so I had this beautiful reusable filter, I got it for Christmas and it works great.

However the coffee pot died, and I was left a poor college student in need of caffeine. So I put together my own one cup coffee pot, which is more economical and environmentally friendly for me. The filter is standing upright by the assistance of a small mouth mason jar ring. In oder for this is be placed over standard sized coffee mugs and tea cups I cut a whole out of the plastic butter lid smaller than the size of the ring. Stack the two on top of each other, place the coffee grounds inside and pour over hot/boiling water. Bam, one cup of hot drip coffee.

beautiful.

Political Histories

I get really excited about politics in the past. I think that's maybe because I get really excited about politics in general and I like to see the progression of how we got to where we now are. Yes, that is a very conservative notion on my part but this is a point where I am quite certian.

Especially concerning speeches of famous individuals. I really like speeches by those who were and still are considered famous mostly through political grounds. Currently in my posession I have speeches by, Abraham Lincoln, Stephen Douglas, Malcolm X, and Martian Luther King Jr. all for the sake of my play. Yet, really when I read the words in my book that are claimed speeches by Douglas I can't help but feel the nudge of excitement as I visualize the charachter and the man that was. I've read parts of his biblography and seen pictures of him so I am creating him while his words fold out in front of me. He was there and people listened to this speech. The past gives me an eerie poke of satisfaction, nothing exists singularly.

depression --> Nerd

I have been undergoing a slight series of depression over the last few months. I have not been focusing on it, instead I've been baking and reading new books trying to busy myself out of loneliness. I've begun to define things, words and ideas in my notebooks the pages are covered with personal definitions. It makes me think that I am really working to understand the world around me. At the same time, I am still consuming all sorts of other matter of information. I mentioned this is a previous post, but I am reading and watching and hearing stories and pictures and poetry. This was part of the depression cycle for me because I did not want to leave my room, so I would spend evenings with my cat watching anime, and working on short stories or homework. I actually came to enjoy these activities as activities to define myself by.

I've been reading folktales, and novels, and plays from all spaces and thinkers of the world. I just want to learn as much as possible about as much as possible.


I've read many cookbooks over these days too, and tonight I baked a cake.
[Break] Cake aka [Break]Up Cake.

This is a picture of the chocolate bottom cherry cake I made.




p.s. I am comfortable right now being who I am.

The Revolution

As far as I can see it we have three revolutions at the forefront right now, health care/medicalization, the environmental movement and the gay/queer right movement. A possible fourth can be seen in the mobilization of a voice for poverty, but it has not yet reached the scale of the other three movements. Though, I do not out its eventual possibility.

I feel that we live in a time verging on a revolution. An actual full out overhaul, like the industrial revolution, or the American revolution. It has been a long time since a large scale global revolution has manifested itself. I know arguing these two as global revolutions is pointless because we have a staggering disproportion of industry throughout the world, and obviously the American revolution was centered on a landmass and the events that lead to a nation. I argue however that these revolutions changed life for every person in the world because standards and perceptios were changed than inevitable change the life of every person (however eventual and indirect that change may be).

The industrial revolution added a great disparity on poverty of actions and the divide between "West" and everyone else became a larger trench. Likewise the America became the birthground for modern liberal though and the power of freedom. The changed the possibility for millions of people. Creating the first hope, still to this day for millions of people. Rapidly America became an influential aspect of globalization, world economy and most specifically the world political climate. With our sucess in WWI and WWII, we became a booming political reminder, force, and exploit.


I think now in a global world we are looking for a new revolution, were less than impressed by the race to space and the femisist movement wasn't quite a revolution, though it did allow other movements such as the black rights and gay rights movements to spring from. The enviornmentalist movement and the modern gay/queer rights movements both have potential and ability to become something big(er). Health care reform in the United States may be it's own course for the revolution of medicalization, with medical research and prospects growing in popularity and credit, and slowly become more manageable realities with results.

However, the other two/three movements including the movement for a voice for poverty, all have a strong desire to become the movement that is a the revoluton. They will all use the changes caused by the health care reform to further their own capital, and possibly in the course of things further medicalization its self. We are reaction bases, and only exciting things are expected out of these movements.


I will disclose the fact that I am ever conscious of the 2010 theories and this post may be considered my own explanation. I do not buy into the cosmological, and supernatural explanations, but I believe a lot in the social consciousness of large bodies of individuals. I think fear will have a building effect and a social and created phenomenon will occur around 2012. A superficial "end of the world" is not something I believe in, but I acknowledge the revolutions possible to completely change the world that we live in.
I do not know what the change will be, because no one will know. All we have are our theories.

in vitro

Today the biomedicilization of the body is in the back of my thoughts. I am going to write a play about the year 2235 when geneticists found a way to implant intelligence through the level of mothers intelligence and intellegence consumed while pregnant. Just like nutrients and food is passed through the plancinto at crucial moments intellegence will pass the same way. Thus predisposing offspring to jobs as lawyers, philosophers, engineers, chemists, poets, and genetisists.

It blows my mind
Red October style

do you... think...

Do you ever wish you could glow in the dark?
or listen to your hair grow?
or take one of your eyes out?
or leave your feet behind?
or open an umbrella out of your head?
or fly?


I totally do.
all of the time.

the Desire to Consume

All I've wanted to do for the last two or three weeks is consume. And I have been consuming so very much, in all different forms of media. I read comics and books and poems and short stories and blogs and newspapers. I listen to podcast of short stories and poems and politics. I watch movies and theatre and anime and youtube. In conversations I listen to stories and monologues and rants. I can never be doing only one. I read three books at a time not counting what I am doing for school. I get bored with one if I am alone with it for too long. Everything needs it's own break which is why I can't do blogs or tv shows everyday. Just a little L word today, and a little Kafka tomorrow, then some blogs and poems. Keep the balance, you know.

I have been eating it all up and ingesting it. All the art and the language on my computer or bookshelf or table.

I find myself wanting to spend my life reading in parks, on benches, in the library, on my couch, or in my garden. Spending hours of my life enriching myself, indulging in art.
I could be very happy.

For now I am also very happy, doing some consumption for school and some consumption for myself. and sleeping a little in between. It's a happy balance.



Right now the first volume of The Count of Monte Cristo is siting on my table along with 3 books of Kafka in the native German. One is Die Verwandlung which is one of my very favorite books, yet I have never read it in German. I am excited now to be about 3 pages in.

Fog purgatory

It is almost as if it will never rain. The fall has settled in and become a comfortable shield across campus, yet the associated rain is still missing.

I actually get happier when it rains. I am waiting for it to come down in a sheet that pounds down the fog and cleans all the fields of the old snow. I will open my windows and lay in the middle of my room. Listening to it from all angles and letting it fill my space with the smell of turned soil and refreshing rain.
I can't wait.
considering the forecast say 100% chance of rain!
it is only a matter of time.

Following each other's footsteps

This is a blog I've been meaning to write since January, and it was sparked because I realized just how much I learn from the people around me.

I was walking and needed to cross the street, however there was a huge pile of plowed snow between myself and the street. I was contemplating in my head how hard the pile was, wondering if I'd make it over when I noticed foot prints in the snow. They were headed just over the pile toward the street, right where I would have also decided to cross. In that moment I litterally followed in someone else's footsteps as I made my way safely over the snow.

Since that day I've been grateful for all the moments I can learn from others.
I soak up those around me, even my cat.


Someday I will probably follow in your footsteps, and you will follow in mine. We will go there together.

Anything by Andrea Gibson

tonight i wanna slit my wrists
hold the blood to god's lips and say taste this

tonight i could swear even the man in the moon
is a rapist
and stars are nothing but scars
bullet wounds from humanities drive
by firing at the face of the sky

tonight crying would be too easy
it would please me too much
and no i don't want you to touch me
cause your hands are clean
and i'm filthy

guilty with the blood of something beautiful
all over me
i've been weak and leaking so much poison
in all the rivers around me
the fish are dying

and the trees are vying for some light
but i'm the eternal night

writing rhymes about wind chimes and world peace
while even in my sleep
i'm fighting wars that grind the enamel off my teeth
and i wake with my jaw clenched and my body bent
thinking how many dishes have i broken this week?

in an attempt to not break myself
by taking brutal belt to my hide
cause it's hard to wanna survive
when i know if ghandi were alive
... he'd shoot me

and all the great therapists of this world might say
girl maybe your anger is good
maybe your rage
is you emerging from the cage of everything you've been
so i try to be zen singing mantras of

om mani padme hum

but god fears me too much to hear me
and my heart beats another kid in the candy store
and his mother calls the cops
and every time the clock tics
i start tic tic tic talking more shit
my voice sounding the crucifixion of everything holy
i've got blisters on my tongue
from pounding nails into hearts of prophets
and just when i think i can stop it
satan resurrects inside me
and everything around me turns to hell
last night i stole pennies from a wishing well
to buy rope
to lynch the last inch of hope from the planet from the planet

and all

because you have a new girlfriend and i can't stand it

and i know it doesn't make sense
i know we decided to be just friends
but i didn't think we'd be just friends forever
i mean...
i wanted to be eighty together
wanted to birth poems like babies together
and watch them grow up save the world

cause girl
you're the only one who could ever raise the sun inside me
and i swear the ground beneath my feet
is only soft because you walk beside
there were times i thought i was so lost
even god would never find me
and then you came up right behind me
and kissed a cross onto my back

and its things like that that got me going crazy
cause i was thinking maybe the breaths we'd take together
would make us live forever
and now you're killing me
look at me i'm dying
not even trying to evolve when

i wanted to be there forty years from now
when the doctor called to say
your mother might not make it another day
and i wasn't gonna be just ok
i was gonna be perfect

was gonna make my love feel
like the first time you rode your bike without training wheels
kneel before you every day
like there was no one else before you

cause i've heard your heart beat
like that breeze that could bring any violence to its knees
and the best lines i've ever written

i plagiarized every word from the thoughts of yours
i heard while you were just sittin in silence

staring up at mars
but you never wish on shooting stars
you wish on the ones
that have the courage to shine where they are
no matter how dark the night
no matter how hard the fight
and how now do i turn away from that light

when i wanted to be eighty with you
birth babies like poems with you
and let them write themselves

wanted to hold your heart to my ear like a sea-shell
til i could hear the tides of every tear you've ever cried
then build islands in the seas of your eyes
so you'd see there's land to swim to
hold your hand and say storms are born
from the same sky we write hymns to when the sun shines
sometimes it takes tempests to wake rainbows
that will wind our pain into halos

was gonna carve your name into my wrist
so my pulse could kiss you

was gonna love you so well

i'd wake every morning
and tell you things like this...
bliss is the moments you're with me
when your gone my life hurts like hell
but i'll do anything to make you happy
even if it means setting you free

to be with someone else