Coming out Again

I am actually trucking right along as far as coming out as trans to my folks goes. All of the parents in my life know know and we are working on solutions of how to break the news to 7 year old. My father said straight up that he didn't understand, but loves me and supports me. (he also admitted to not having understood my sexuality as a lesbian but came to accept it and 'roll with it') I think it is in fact a lot of information to process and handle at one time. Especially since my father is older, and from a small midwestern town. He actually does not have much experience with folk who do things a bit different. Looking on the bright-side my dad and stepmum has a lot of questions, and wanted to make sure I was emotionally stable and conscious of the impacts of my choices It was really nice to have their support though, and no tears were spread over the ordeal.

So now I need everyone's feedback. I have a 7 year old sister who absolutly adores her big sister (that's me) and only sees me 4-6 times a year. Meaning the process of my transition will not be a gradual one that she sees and comes to understand. How do we explain to her what is going on. We won't start to process for another 4 months or so, but it would be good to have all the information and coping strategies together from the start. I still want to be the big sister she looks up to, because I love being that role model for her but I also need her to understand the terms of my transition and the fact that I will be a man and not a lady anymore. It a tough question, and I am sure there are many answers it's just a matter of picking the rightest one.

Also my mother is attempting to join sometime of online community for the mothers of transmen. I think it will be really good for her and she will learn from and be able to help more mothers. She's very concerned about the whole doctor switching business, but she understands why I must. We've been going to the same family doctor since moving to Kewanee, 17 years ago. She's in fact the woman who birthed my brother. My mother was taken back when I wanted to start seeing another doctor within the firm of family doctors because the women everyone else sees didn't understand my sexuality.

Yet, my dad and step-mum did ask a lot of questions about what this would do to my sexuality. Including, if I fell in love with a feminine gay man, would I then identify as a gay man. Or would I start to identify as straight after the transition. I didn't explain to them the complexity of my current identity and instead explained the term queer to them. The also had a lot of questions about identifications and marriage. I gave the the correct answers but said I didn't want to make any of these decisions in my life until I have to cross that bridge.

All in all, it was a good day even though I woke up with a fever. I think I stressed myself out too much about the coming out thing and made myself sick. I woke from bad dreams at 6 am and didn't feel right until late into the afternoon. I did make it to the health food store today though and got hummus and soy cheese and soy sour cream! I wanted cream cheese too, but all they had was flavored ones that I don't like.

now, back to my romantic comedies! I am going to watch Bridget Jones's Diary tonight. teehe, I am rather hopeless aren't I!