Yesterday at work I found myself reading an article in Newsweek titled: The Conservative Case for Gay Marriage
Theodore Olson may be known to you as a conservative lawyer who supported Bush, and his administration, but you may also be surprised to hear he has a positive voice in Perry v. Schwarzenegger. His argument is simple enough, gays and lesbians are a part of our society and have been for sometime, so why are they not treated equally. He talks in the article about how privilege and respect are entitled to every human being. When we are not allowing these basic human rights Olson argues that we are saying these humans are worth less, are less legitimate, and less permanent making them less valuable in our communities. This is something that Olson says we do not have the influence to decide. The argument that Olson finds most frustrating is the argument that tradition should dictate our decisions on Prop 8 and gay marriage. He is not convinced because traditions are always changing and "simply because something has always been done a certain way does not mean that it must always remain that way."
I am though not fully convinced, impressed, or trusting of Theodore Olson. I am though happy that he is fighting and arguing his case for gay marriage. The conservative voice is important in this discussion and he is countering very basic arguments. In general he is reaching a pretty wide audience but he is limited in that all his examples of gay and lesbian marriage are stable white couples. The article printed in Newsweek pictures 5 different gay and lesbian couples, all of which lack outward minorities. I understand that we must know our audience, and in this case we are bidding towards to conservatives, but I don't think we need to lose our diversity and colour when doing that.
Olson writes that, "the right to marry helps us to define ourselves and out place in a community." This is a conservative argument that my politics can not get behind, because I do not believe that we are defined by those we wish to spend the rest of our lives with. I think it's just as important to be part of a community regardless of marriage. I wish that we, the queer movement, could be taken seriously and treated equally regardless of marriage. Will marriage change the way queer students are treated in high school?
Also I find myself again not supported by the laws and institutions. I am not one to counter the gay rights movement or the marriage bills, but I am always unsatisfied by the approach and the content of the changes we only hope to make. I think we are legitimately trying to help people an include a huge community, but I am not convinced we are going about the process in the correct way. I wish we outwardly included people of colour, and transgenders in the movement, conservative or not because we can not hide these people when change does begin to happen.
My question remains, why will marriage make us equal?
Overall I am happy that some other, more conservative voices are becoming involved and heard I am hopeful that the movement will eventually be good for everyone. I just don't want us to lose sight of that 'eventually', by focusing on appeasing the conservative because that's not productive or fair to the movement.
Let me here your thoughts!?
I know there are lots of arguments to be made and I only have one of many. I am open to all your conservative, liberal, socialist, communist, democratic, etc. views, even if I don't agree or am not fully convinced yet.
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Thought:
I totally agree that it's ridiculous that marriage and family should be required to be a good citizen and community member. This pro-family bias is seen throughout media, culture, and society, even when it's not intersecting with gender, sexuality, race, etc. It's the same problem as with deism. It's assumed that everybody believes in a deity, or will at some point. In short, every American is on track to be a religious person with a family.
I think this gets right at the heart of American identity, though. If people were to be asked what are the most important American ideals, they would likely say freedom and democracy. Really though, this country was built on individual, god-fearing families. The first colonists formed small communities that were barely economically viable. It was the individual family unit that supplied for itself. The family structure came from religion. Life consisted of working the fields and in the home next to your fellow family members while worshiping god.
Now take a look at how we treat families and marriage. Incentives to marry and have kids come from every direction. Media. Government. Taxes. Religion. Culture. School. It all comes streaming at us. People still see having a family as the most normal thing in the world.
This also gets at the heart of why people are so worried about marriage's "sanctity". For many, it's the only life they've ever known. All they've ever experienced is seeing their loving grandparents, who had their loving parents and aunts/uncles, who then had them, and so the pattern must continue. This is where people also learn their gender roles. To throw same-gender couples into the mix, ones that are clearly not intentioned to have their own genetic children (obviously exceptions apply), is for many people probably as jarring as if someone were to come to me and say "so, we can drive on the left side of the street now. Not all the time, but some of the time. And not you. Only them." Suddenly, the whole nature of driving has changed, and instead of adapting to the inevitability and changing my own personal patterns, I resist the change.
I wrote a paper about how philosophical, religious, and cultural forces permitted racial slavery and the oppression of women in this country from the end of the Revolutionary War to the beginning of the Civil War. Basically, it all comes down to the fact that we wanted to promote a Christian family structure without stepping on anybody's rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness: the exact battle we wage now.
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/2903811/Evang%20Paternal%20Slavery%20Sexism%20US%20History%20final.doc
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