I've spent this weekend coming to terms with my tranny self. I am only 3 weeks away from coming out to my father and step-mother. In order to do this efficiently and informatively I've decided to create a time line for them, to explain to them what the steps mean to me and to them. I also want to print off some terminology, and stories of other transmen and bois who have been successful and happy.
Preparing myself for this conversation has made me ready to face my own life a head of me. I am not naive, I understand that it will be hard and complicated but I think that I am finally prepared to grow up an into who I really want to be.
Mostly it started because someone used male pronouns to explain me, and it didn't feel wrong or bad. Then I stumbled upon this which made me realize that I want to grow up and be a father. Often when talking about theoretical children, I get a little excited or I think maybe I could have children. I never thought of it from a father perspective before, but this is actually the most comfortable place for me to think of it from. I don't want to come at parenting as a mother, or an androgynous non-gender binary parent. I want to be a father, almost as much as I want to be a lawyer. This surprised me, but also excited me.
So, my timeline includes hormones, top surgery, and maybe a name change/document changes, and possible another pronoun change later on. I am ready for what life will bring me in the next 5-7 years.
p.s. I finaly bought a binder small enough for my frame. It will be her in 5-7 days. I was very happy that they were back in stock.
p.p.s. I love Ryan
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I just went and saw the world premiere of "Two Spirits", a documentary on a young Native American gay genderqueer male who was murdered in Colorado. That's not a very accurate description of the movie at large, though, because it largely consists of interviews with Native historians, figures, and transfolk. At the very least, I'd recommend checking it out. It's not on DVD yet, but maybe there'd be a showing near Grinnell? At the very least, that would be a perfect event for the trans/GLBT club/s to host. They're working on trying to get it into college curricula, clubs, and whatnot.
Might be a good way to put things in perspective for your family? It's a very positive movie overall. The biggest point to take from it is that the gender binary is not only unnecessary to the functioning of society, but it is damaging, and many societies who have a more fluid concept of gender are much more functional because of it.
But I don't have to tell you all that, do I?
Peace brother! (Are you using masculine terms now?)
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